Forgotten Hatred
by Yoshiko Kyoda
Summary: Yuki has had a change of heart in the way he views Kyou after that night when he transformed. But how will he deal with these new feelings if Kyou never returns them? YxK RR!
1. Whispers in the Dark

**Author's Note:** For those who don't know, this is a Yuki/Kyou story. I have warned you, so I will ignore any reviews that complain about this. The story is also based off of the anime and takes place a few days after the anime ends. Now you are informed and may continue.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket nor will I ever sadly…

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**Forgotten Hatred**

**Chapter One: Whispers in the Dark**

_"I hate him! Everything is always that damn rat's fault!"_

"Always my fault…?" I repeated aloud in my darkened room.

Kyou had shouted these words the night Kazuma, our martial arts master, took his beads that prevented him from transforming into the grotesque shape of the cat's evil spirit. And yesterday he challenged me to a fight and like always, I won. After which, he promptly told me how much he hated my guts. However, such words had never bothered me before but now they hurt worse than Akito's tortures as a child. To Kyou… I was only 'that damn rat'.

I rolled over onto my left side and sighed deeply. Even though I was exhausted and my bed was so comfortable, I was unable to sleep because my mind was refusing to rest with these thoughts in my head.

The events of the past week were very stressful on us all. About three nights ago I had seen Kyou transform into the true form of the cat. And just yesterday, Honda-san went with us to see Akito…

Seeing the cat's true form was a great shock to me… I can understand why Kyou would want to hide it…

Kagura once said to me that someone of the zodiac could not truly comfort Kyou since we shared the same curse, but Honda-san could. And for the first time in my life… I _wanted_ to help Kyou… in any way I could! I regretted all those times we fought against each other and the cruel things I had said to him. I had to do the one thing that would make Kyou feel better… and that was by getting Honda-san to tell Kyou how she truly felt when she saw his true form and not hide behind lies.

I remember now what had happened to Kyou's mother when he was so young and fragile. Him being the cat, broke her heart and she committed suicide. Just imagining how Kyou felt, consumed by grief and guilt, was too much for me…

The wound Kyou inflicted on my left shoulder the night that he transformed was healing gradually. Touching it briefly before gazing out my bedroom window, I remembered the words Kyou had uttered to Honda-san. _"How is it that someone like you can be here with me… crying for me?"_

He truly loves Honda-san… and there is no way he would ever feel that way about me even though I never wanted to hurt him again… If only there was some way I could atone for what I did to Kyou.

It's difficult to explain how I feel now…

Yesterday he demanded that we have a fight and the outcome was the same as it always was… I won with ease. Recalling the bitter words Kyou shouted at me again caused a pain in my chest to surface.

I turned away from the window and onto my right side.

Growing up, my hatred for Kyou had no foundation other than he was the cat and I was the rat. But Kagura was right when she said it shouldn't have to be that way. It was almost like how Hatsuharu hated me for being the rat. I was blinded by the zodiac curse and never saw Kyou for what he really was… I still get frustrated with him; that much is true. But I can't bring myself to hold a grudge against him any longer.

Sighing once more, I closed my eyes and forced myself to empty my mind in order to fall asleep. And it was early in the morning when it finally came.

"Yuki-kun." Tohru called to me from downstairs to wake me up.

Groaning in my sleep I just rolled over. I didn't want to wake up and go downstairs. But I guess I'm obligated to do what I have to over what I really want…

I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes sleepily, while yawning. For some reason it always takes me a long time before I'm fully awake so I usually wander downstairs and hope that I'm fully dressed. That would be so embarrassing for several reasons.

"Good morning, Yuki." Tohru smiled cheerfully to me when I had managed to sleepwalk downstairs.

"Good morning Honda… san…" I yawned again and sat at the table.

I sneaked a glance over to Kyou and was surprised to see him looking about as tired as me. Must be raining outside…

Shigure was sitting next to me, reading the paper when he set it down and sipped his tea. "With all the typhoons hitting the coast, it's going to be raining all week at this rate."

"Great…" Kyou sighed sarcastically.

"Yuki? Are you feeling all right? There are dark circles under your eyes." Tohru voiced her concern to me.

"Hm? Oh…" I rubbed my eyes. "Don't worry, I'm fine. I've just been having trouble falling asleep lately." I tried to reassure her.

"Don't waste your time worrying about him." Kyou scoffed and then added randomly, "God I hate the rain…"

"But Kyou! If Yuki pushes himself too much he'll get sick or transform while we're at school! That would be terrible." Tohru stammered.

"Whatever…" Kyou muttered indifferently.

I stared down at my breakfast sadly. I guess I couldn't blame Kyou for hating me so much but… I wish he didn't. It still hurts every time.

"Well just don't forget your umbrellas today when you go to school!" Shigure exclaimed in an almost singsong voice.

God I want to strangle Shigure sometimes…

**TO BE CONTINUED**

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Well that's the first chapter. Hope you enjoyed it and I'll give pocky to those who review! And for those who flame, I will come after you with a pitchfork and torch! 


	2. Tears of the Rain

**Chapter Two: Tears of the Rain**

It continuously rained all day to the point where the roads became shallow rivers with a strong current. Most people avoided driving today, for fear of hydroplaning off the road. Whereas Kyou spent most of the day slumped over his desk, exhausted. Meanwhile, Tohru tried to help him in any way she could but he stubbornly refused and therefore was given a hard time by her two friends, Uotani and Hanajima.

"Hey Kyon Kyon, Tohru's trying to help you. You could at least thank her, you lousy bum!" Uo ranted at poor Kyou.

"I sense your feelings have changed." Hana said to me quietly after she had snuck over to me.

"W-what?" I stammered awkwardly because I always felt uncomfortable with the way she would appear out of nowhere.

"The electric waves tell me, you hold Kyou very dear to you now." Saki paused and her voice lowered even more. "But in a choice between saving your true love or a dear friend you must choose who you cherish most. I won't hold your choice against you…" Saki then drifted back over to Tohru and Kyou before I could ask her what she meant, leaving me alone by the window puzzled.

I was completely dumbfounded by everything Saki said. What could she have meant? What was that about my true love? It couldn't be Kyou… could it?

I doubt it…

After school, the three of us walked home slowly in the rain with our different colored umbrellas.

"So what should we eat for dinner tonight?" Tohru asked us with a kind smile on her face.

I couldn't help but smile in return, "I don't mind what we have. You and Kyou can decide."

"What would you like, Kyou?" Tohru continued asking.

"Salmon or cod…" He replied flatly. "No… damn… leeks…"

This remark made me chuckle inwardly. Although I really loved eating stewed leeks (especially the ones Honda-san made), Kyou hated leeks with a passion. Hm, I wonder why he hates leeks because they taste just fine to me.

In the distance I heard what sounded like a car skidding on the water around a bend in the road ahead and I immediately tensed up while the other two kept walking. The sound got louder as a car hydroplaned around the bend and raced towards us on the wrong side of the road. "Get out of the way!" I cried and grabbed Kyou around the waist before jumping over the guardrail and together we rolled on the sopping wet ground into a ditch. Above us, I could hear the car trying to screech to a halt before it crashed into something very large and quite solid. Kyou jumped up and scrambled out of the slippery ditch, disappearing from my view.

"Tohru!" Kyou exclaimed in panic.

I clambered up the muddy ditch and grabbed onto the guardrail for support at what I saw. The car had crashed straight into a lamppost and Tohru…

Tohru was laying dead under the wheel of the car… her blood mixing in with the rainwater on the road and was swiftly swept away with the current of the shallow rivers in the road.

"TOHRU!" Kyou cried out in agony.

He collapsed onto his knees and I picked myself up, walking slowly over to Kyou, still in shock. A shop owner not to far down the street ran outside to see what the commotion was about and without realizing what I was doing I yelled to them, "Get help, quick!" and kneeled down by Kyou, hugging him close to me. To my surprise Kyou didn't fight against me and just shouted Tohru's name while letting his tears run free down his cheeks. It was almost as if I was not even there…

Fifteen minutes went by and by then a crowd had gathered around the car wreckage and Tohru's corpse. People chattered away about what happened while Kyou was staring at Tohru with a dazed look in his eyes. Out of everyone she knew, Tohru's death will probably hit Kyou the hardest…

A car pulled up and Shigure and Hatori stepped out of the car, looking very shocked and stressed. Hatori went to aid the doctors who were handling Tohru's body while Shigure spotted us and hurried over.

"Are you two all right!" He demanded in a tone much different from his usual mellow cheerfulness.

"I think I'll be okay but Kyou…" I glanced at him briefly, my arms still on his shoulders, before turning back to Shigure. "I don't think this is easy for him…"

Nodding, Shigure helped me lift Kyou to his feet. "I'll get Kazuma to come and visit tomorrow. That might help. But for now, we should probably head home, Hatori will handle everything here but-"

"No! I'm not leaving her!" Kyou shouted, suddenly fighting against our hold on him. "She's not dead! Can't you see! She'll be fine!"

I tightened my grip on Kyou's arm, refusing to let him go. "She's dead, Kyou! There's nothing we can do!"

"No she's not! She just needs help and she'll get better!" Kyou denied in a voice filled with unbearable pain and despair.

"Stop it, Kyou!" Shigure ordered.

"Get your hands off me you bastard!" Kyou brought his fist up and hit me in the jaw.

Staggering back from the surprisingly powerful hit, I held my jaw in pain and was forced to release Kyou. My cousin shoved all the doctors, including Hatori, out of his way until he was by Tohru's side.

"Wake up, damn it! You're not dead and you're not fooling anyone!" Kyou collapsed to his knees again. People in the crowd gasped and whispered to each other in hushed tones, looking at Kyou with pity. Kyou held Tohru in his arms and stroked her hair, muttering quietly through his tears, "Wake up and let me see that goofy smile of yours one more time…"

Seeing Kyou in so much emotional pain was too much for me to bear and the tears started trickling out of my own eyes. Shigure stared at the ground sadly, knowing good and well that Tohru was long gone and would never come back no matter how much we wished it. The crowd around us were covering their eyes and wiping away their own tears but none of them could ever understand how dear Tohru was to the Sohmas. After a while, Kyou quieted down and Shigure, along with me, approached him once more and led him back into the car. During the drive home, Kyou didn't so much as speak to either of us and I wished there was some way I could give him comfort.

"Why didn't you save her?" Kyou muttered to me in the backseat of the car while Shigure drove.

"Excuse me?" I asked, not knowing what Kyou meant.

"You could have saved her but you didn't. You saved me… why the hell did you save me and not her!" Kyou gritted his teeth and his red eyes glared at me with the most hateful and loathing look.

"I-I…" I stuttered and Shigure looked into the rear view mirror to watch us. "I don't know…"

"Didn't you love her! I thought you hated me! Why couldn't you have saved her instead of me, damn it!" Kyou growled and grabbed the collar of my shirt.

"You were closest!" I lied. There's no way I could've possibly explained how I felt about Kyou then and there. "And even if I had saved Tohru instead of you, she would be as torn up about it as you are!" I retorted, angrily.

This shut up Kyou once more, but I felt even guiltier for saying what I had. I would probably be doing the same thing if I lost the one I cared about most in the entire world. After all… Tohru was the first to accept all of us Sohmas… and the first to accept Kyou for his true cat form…

"Tohru wouldn't want us to be this sad over her death, you know…" Shigure spoke up, from the front seat.

"Shigure's right." I nodded.

"I don't give a damn if she would want us to be happy or not, it'll never bring her back…" Kyou choked back more tears as he finally acknowledged her death and all that happened.

There was nothing either of us could say now… nothing would help Kyou's situation.

"We're here…" Shigure announced solemnly.

I stepped out of the car and the three of us entered the house, not speaking or making eye contact with one another. Shigure went and shut himself up in his office while I think Kyou went upstairs to his room.

Sighing, I looked around at the house that now felt so empty without Tohru's optimistic presence. Giving the tearoom one final longing look, I walked upstairs and passed Tohru's room. Cracking the door open slightly I was surprised to find it occupied. On the floor, there sat Kyou in the middle of the bedroom…

Quietly, I shut the door and went into my own bedroom. I can only hope this doesn't tear Kyou apart…

Falling onto my bed, I silently cried myself to sleep. I must seem like such a fool, crying myself to sleep over the unhappiness of others but… I couldn't help it…

**TO BE CONTINUED**

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Yuki loves Kyou! Kyou loves Tohru! Tohru gets hit by an ice cream truck! Sorry, inside joke (sweat drops)… 


	3. Fading Memories

**Chapter Three: Fading Memories**

The next day Kyou refused to come out of his room so I walked to school by myself. I didn't see Haru or Momiji anywhere but I planned on finding them later that day to talk to them about Tohru.

Everything seemed so empty without Tohru around now…

I opened the sliding door to my classroom and saw Hana and Uo sitting by the windows. Saki looked like she was on the verge of crying and Arisa's eyes were red and puffy from hours of shedding tears. Apparently they had both received the news…

Despite the fact that I had never been a close friend with either of them, I felt like I should try to comfort them or offer my help. Neither of them looked at me when I approached them. "Hello…" I said quietly to them and sat down beside them.

Arisa bit her lip to keep herself from bursting into tears again and Saki gave me a sad look but one that held nothing against me. "Is there anything I can do for either of you?" I asked hesitantly, hoping that they would not blame me like Kyou did.

Arisa turned away to look out the window, hiding her pain and Saki didn't respond at first. "No… except one thing."

"What would that be? I'd be more than happy to do anything for you." I tried to muster a weak smile but to no avail.

"Take care of Kyou… I'm sure he's suffering terribly and it's what Tohru would probably want you to do." Then Saki wiped at her eyes and continued with a slightly more cheerful tone in her voice. "I'm sure Tohru must be happy to be with her mother again…"

"Yes…" I agreed softly.

The black-haired psychic looked up at me and I could see the pain and longing in her eyes. "For Tohru's sake, we should try to keep ourselves happy so that she does not worry where she's at."

I nodded and bowed my head, not knowing what else to do. But I hope… that I _can_ take care of Kyou like Tohru wishes.

"Yuki?"

I jerked my head up at the door to see Hatsuharu and Momiji in the doorway. Momiji looked utterly depressed and Haru looked very worried. Standing up, I walked over to them with a grave expression on my face.

"So you heard?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, I came to check on how you're doing." Haru removed his hand from his pocket and touched my face lightly. "Are you okay, Yuki?"

"I'm more worried about Kyou than myself." I said honestly.

"We'll try and think of a way to cheer him up." Haru reassured, seeing that it really bothered me how Kyou was.

Momiji sniffled. "Why did it have to be, Tohru…?"

I didn't answer and neither did Haru. There's no real way to explain such a situation… things just happen.

"I fear this will eat away Kyou from the inside out…" I mumbled. "So I think I'll try and be there for him as much as I can."

Haru gave me this weird gentle smile, which gave me an uneasy feeling.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"I see what's going on here." Haru winked. "I think I'll also try and help when I can."

Uh… I have a bad feeling about this…

When the first bell rang, Hatsuharu and Momiji headed back to their own classes and I took my seat for the lesson.

What could Haru have planned in his head, I wonder?

Argh! This was bothering me so much I could hardly think about anything else! The zodiac cow had told me to meet him after school in an empty classroom for some reason. Maybe it would go something like this…

_"Oh HELP!" I screamed loudly, trying to free myself but Haru had me pinned down on the floor._

_"Today Yuki, you shall be mine!" Haru would grin._

_"What are you going to do once you have me?" I would ask, a little scared._

_"Oh come on Yuki, have some common sense. I mean let's think... You're my bitch from now on since Tohru's gone. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I cried out.

Other students turned in their seats to stare at me, some even giggled a little. Blushing furiously I raised my hand and asked to be excused to wash my face. I found the cool water to be quite refreshing but it did little to help my embarrassment. I guess I got a little _too_ caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't realize I was talking aloud until too late. But what if that really happens?

I shuddered. Man that was creepy… I hope that _never_ happens!

Isn't it interesting how long the day can drag itself out when you're waiting for it to end? And it didn't help that I kept glancing at the clock every five seconds. But when I finally gave up on waiting for the day to end, the final bell rang and everyone started filing out of the classroom. I dragged my feet to the empty classroom where Hatsuharu told me to meet him and waited patiently for him to arrive.

This wait wasn't nearly as agonizing as the first because only a couple of minutes after I arrived, Haru walked in through the door.

"'Sup, Yuki?" Haru asked casually.

"Why did you want me to meet you here?" I asked hesitantly.

"Just to talk, man to man." Haru shrugged. "What? You didn't think I was going to do anything… _nasty_, did you?"

"Of course not." I laughed nervously.

"Well, I never would have seen this coming…" Haru mused. "You love Kyou, don't you?"

I blushed and at first was a little annoyed and embarrassed by the question. But Haru wasn't so stupid as to be fooled by such an obvious lie, so telling the truth was the only option. "Yes…"

"I knew it! Well, my advice to you is simply to be there for him in the time when he needs someone the most." The white-haired Sohma nodded. "Of course knowing Kyou, he won't be very grateful at first but I think that if you give him some time he'll warm up to you."

"Thank you for the advice, Hatsuharu." I said gratefully. This evening I would go home and try to reason with Kyou about all of this.

"You're very welcome." Haru smiled at me gently.

I turned around and started exiting the room when Hatsuharu grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to face him once more. "Don't I get anything in return, Yuki?"

"Cut it out, Haru." I growled because he was leaning especially close to my mouth.

"All right." Haru backed off, letting me leave in peace.

The walk home from school was rather lonely now that neither Kyou nor Tohru were here to join me. I found myself thinking about all the times when it had just been the three of us. Like for New Years and when we went for a walk around the lake…

Those were good times…

It was even a little funny reminiscing all of the arguments between Kyou and I and how Tohru would always try and keep the peace.

"I'm home." I called through the house, slipping my shoes off at the door before going in search of Shigure. He was in his office reading the newspaper when I slid the door open. "Gure-san, where's Kyou?"

At first, Shigure didn't look up at me…

Sighing, he stared blankly at the wall in front of him before answering. "He's gone to see Hatori…"

Huh? Hatori? Why would he want to see Hatori…? Wait! That doesn't mean-!

"He's going to get his memories erased!" I demanded.

Shigure nodded solemnly. "It's his own choice… so I didn't stop him…"

"I don't believe this!" I flung my school bag onto the kitchen table on my way to the door. Nearly tripping over my own feet and shoes in my haste to race out the door. I started running to the last place I ever wanted to go to again… the main Sohma house.

When the Sohma estate loomed into view I burst through the gates and saw that up ahead of me Hatori was standing outside his office while Kyou trudged over to him.

"Hey Hatori…" Kyou muttered in an emotionless voice.

"Are you sure about this, Kyou?" Hatori asked uncertainly with his face like an expressionless stone mask.

"Yeah…" Kyou replied.

"Wait!" I shouted and crashed into Kyou from behind. In my anger, I turned him around and slammed Kyou into the wall right next to Hatori, pinning him down so he couldn't run.

"Don't you stop me, you damn rat!" Kyou spat at me.

Not even wincing at being called what I hated most, I narrowed my eyes at the person dearest to me. "Getting your memories erased of Tohru won't do you any good!"

"Last time I checked your not my damn mother, rat!" Kyou retorted.

"Put her behind you! But don't forget her completely!" I insisted, tightly gripping Kyou's shoulders. "Tohru wants you to be happy but she doesn't want you to forget her."

Kyou's red eyes avoided mine and he mumbled quietly, "Why should you care?"

"We may have not gotten along in the past but this is hard on all of us, not just Sohmas." I remembered the teary eyes of Tohru's best friends and looked down. "I don't want to watch you waste away before my eyes, Kyou…"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hatori… smiling. Or at least I thought he was smiling because never before had I seen him smile. "Yuki's right, Kyou."

My orange-haired cousin stopped trying to fight against my grip and he stared down at the ground in thought. I backed away, letting him have his room but I do think he was re-considering having Hatori erase his memories.

"Fine…" muttered Kyou. "I won't erase Tohru from my memories…"

"Good." Hatori nodded. "Yuki, Kazuma will be stopping by Shigure's house this evening to see Kyou."

"All right." I returned a nod and gently tugged on Kyou's arm.

Silently we walked back to Shigure's house and every time Kyou started falling behind I would slow down my pace to match his, so not even once did I take my eyes off of him. I want to be sure he doesn't do anything else drastic…

"Yuki…" Kyou mumbled.

"Hm?" I gave him a sideway glance while the two of us walked along side by side.

"Thanks…" Kyou muttered quietly. "You damn rat…"

I smiled slightly. This was the first time Kyou ever thanked me.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. Mourning the Dead

**Chapter Four: Mourning the Dead**

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Shigure asked Kyou and I for the umpteenth time while forcing his arm into the sleeve of his coat with his black suit underneath.

I glanced across the table to look at Kyou's expressionless features and shook my head at my other cousin. "No Shigure, we'll just stay here."

"All right then. I should be back before it gets too late and then we'll order take-out." Shigure sighed and left the still house.

Today… it was the day scheduled for Tohru's funeral and it was being held soon. All those who knew her—were touched by her kindness, were attending except for Kyou and I. Believe me, I would go, but Kyou didn't want to and I certainly didn't want to leave him by himself just in case he decided to do something… drastic. A couple of days ago, when Kyou insisted on having his memories erased, Kazuma came by to cheer up Kyou but Kyou flat out refused to see him. And now we were running low on ideas of how to comfort Kyou…

So here we were…

The two of us…

Alone…

Not speaking to each other.

"Do you think we should watch TV?" I asked kindly in hopes to take Kyou's mind off of Tohru.

"No…" Kyou grumbled quietly.

Another long pause…

"I'm a little hungry right now, how about you?" I asked, even though I wouldn't know what to cook because I can't cook… sadly.

"No…" Kyou sighed and then lay down on the floor with his back to me.

Yet another long pause…

"Ah screw this!" Kyou sat up abruptly and started walking out of the room. "I'm going to bed."

"But it's only four in the afternoon." I pointed out after glancing at the clock.

"I don't give a damn!" Kyou shouted and slammed his door shut, making me flinch.

For a long time I sat in the tearoom by myself, feeling guilty for not being able to help Kyou. If I were to lose Kyou… I'd be in the same situation… and of course Hatsuharu would try and be there for me. But what would I want Haru to do to make me feel better?

I pondered this for who knows how long, not being able to come up with any answers except for the fact that I'd want Haru to let me die and be with Kyou again…

But there's got to be something I can do! I don't want Kyou to die on me…

_"Just be there for him."_

Haru's advice reiterated itself in my mind and I stood up from the table. I walked up the stairs delicately so as not to make too much noise and alarm Kyou or something. Within seconds I stood before his door and rapped on the wooden surface quietly. There came no response and at first I thought it was because I had been too soft, so I knocked again louder. There was still no answer and I was getting worried. Hoping Kyou wouldn't kill me later for this, I entered his room without permission and to my relief I saw him curled up in bed asleep.

Smiling inwardly, I took a moment to look over the relaxed expression on Kyou's face and dwell on how tense Kyou was on a regular basis. Having admired Kyou's still form long enough, I turned to leave when a sudden movement out of the corner of my eye made me turn back. That previously calm and relaxed face was now contorted with frustration as Kyou violently thrashed in his sleep.

"Kyou!" I exclaimed and ran to his bedside.

"No! Tohru!" Kyou called out in his nightmares.

"Kyou!" I shook him by the shoulders but he wouldn't stir from his dreams.

_"Just be there for him."_

Without a second thought, I wrapped my arms around Kyou's shoulders and held him close. Not long afterwards, Kyou stopped talking in his sleep and thrashing to escape from my grip. Running a hand through Kyou's orange hair I rocked the two of us slightly and just focused on Kyou's steady breathing against me.

Now that I think about it… the two of us are very similar when it comes to love…

We've both lost.

The love I couldn't win and the love he couldn't protect…

But this moment, with Kyou in my arms sleeping, it made me feel so at peace and content for the first time in a while. And it wasn't long before I fell asleep, too.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	5. Love is the Slowest Form of Suicide

**Chapter Five: Love is the Slowest Form of Suicide**

"Kyou! Yuki! I'm home!" Shigure called loudly as he entered the house.

I snapped awake and looked around, confused. When I realized I was in Kyou's room and had fallen asleep with him in my arms I jumped up and ran out of the room before Shigure went looking for me. If he had come into Kyou's room and seen us I can imagine what would've happened…

Shigure would open the door and look in at us, pretending to be shocked and upset. "Oh my! Sleeping together! Kyou and Yuki are GAY!" And then run out of the room and tell everyone just because he's that kind of person.

I don't really care; Shigure may call me homosexual all he wants (partially since it's true, I guess), but a remark like that would definitely enrage Kyou, no matter what.

I walked downstairs and my stomach grumbled from not having eaten in a while. Shigure was in his office not doing work, as usual. "What are we going to eat tonight, Shigure?"

The novelist leaned back in his chair, balancing a pen on his nose. "Take-out." Shigure answered simply and then gave me a more serious look. "How is Kyou doing?"

"Sleeping." I answered quickly, since Shigure did not need to be informed that I had fallen asleep up in Kyou's room with him in my arms. But it was so nice watching him sleep… he looked so peaceful and felt so warm…

"Yuki?" Shigure raised an eyebrow at me questioningly.

"Huh? What?" I blinked twice, snapping out of my daze.

"Are you okay? You suddenly got a glazed look in your eyes." My cousin scratched his chin thoughtfully, without taking his eyes off of me.

I nodded vigorously, slightly flustered. "Of course I'm fine! So I'll go order the take out for us now." And then without giving Shigure a chance to question me more I turned on my heel and hurried out of the room to the phone.

I must say that I miss Honda-san's cooking very much… after eating such wonderful food for so long, the take-out was absolutely flavorless. However that was the least of my concerns since Kyou did not join us for dinner again but about halfway through the meal Kyou came downstairs, with a preoccupied look on his face. "Where's the headache medicine kept, Shigure?" The orange-haired teenager asked mindlessly.

Shigure slurped the ramen noodles he was eating in one gulp and without even looking up at Kyou he responded, "In the cabinet inside the bathroom."

With that, Kyou trudged off towards the bathroom and once he got what he wanted, trudged upstairs back to his room. I was a little worried about Kyou at first, hoping his head would feel better soon. But even after I finished dinner and Shigure went into the bath, the feeling grew until it was like an anxiety attack and I could no longer remain still. Taking the steps two at a time, I flung the door open to Kyou's room without even knocking and saw Kyou hunched over on the floor. The aspirin, along with several other medications, were strewn all over the floor with the caps off. Kyou was pale and trembling uncontrollably. At this sight, my heart skipped several beats and I started to panic.

"Kyou! God, no! You tried to over dose yourself!" Thinking rapidly I dashed back downstairs and grabbed an entire jug of water from the refrigerator. At that point Kyou was so weak that he couldn't fight me off when I forced him to drink almost half of the water jug. Putting one of his arms around my shoulder I lifted Kyou up and led him to the upstairs bathroom that Tohru used to use and set him down. "Kyou?"

He didn't respond. Kyou's red eyes were beginning to roll into the back of his head and his eyelids fluttered involuntarily. Grabbing Kyou's hair and forcing his head over the toilet seat I yelled, "Throw up, damn it!"

As if on cue, Kyou hurled into the toilet and I looked away, grimacing. After a few minutes, Kyou panted and sat up on his own accord. That's when he turned to me with the most loathing and hateful expression he could muster. "Leave me alone, you damn rat…"

"No. I won't let you throw away your life like this." I informed Kyou, stubbornly.

Kyou's red eyes flitted down to his pocket where he promptly pulled out a razor and prepared to cut himself in his left arm. Enough was enough; I grabbed Kyou by both of his wrists and pinned him down so that he could do no harm to himself. "Let me die, damn it!" Kyou struggled.

"You're being selfish trying to end your own life just because you lost Tohru!" I retorted but Kyou freed his hand that was holding the razor and thrashed about widely, letting the razor dig into my left cheek and create a deep wound vertically.

"You don't know how I feel! I loved Tohru more than anyone else and I just can't _live_ without her!" Kyou gritted his teeth and fought more desperately against me.

I tried to ignore the pain from my cheek and I applied more of my weight onto Kyou to hold him down more, pinning down his wrist again. "I loved her too, Kyou! Everyone loved Tohru!"

Kyou ceased his struggling and for a moment he looked into my eyes. I could see his pain, his despair, and his fear. I wanted his pain to stop. I wanted to help Kyou and protect him. And deep down I wanted to spend the rest of my life by his side… I love you, Kyou… I wish you could see that. But if the only way to stop your pain is to kill yourself then… fine… but I refuse to watch.

"What's going on!" Shigure demanded and burst through the bathroom door.

"Nothing." I lied and pulled away from Kyou.

"What do you mean, _nothing_?" Shigure inquired angrily.

"Exactly what I said. _Nothing_." I hissed menacingly at my older cousin whom decided to back down and leave. Then I turned to Kyou, frowning. "If you think killing yourself will bring you the satisfaction you want, then do it. I don't care anymore." I lied again and stormed out of the bathroom.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


End file.
